The things we do for the ones we love
by Camkaa
Summary: Reid and JJ are abducted by a sadistic killer and JJ is forced to choose who suffers. My first fanfic. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

The car came a stop in front of a white house with blue shudders. The rather decrepit state of the structure was hard to notice over the tall wooden fence that surrounded it.

"Ready?" asked JJ.

They were here to speak to the father of the first victim, Carl Anders. Trying to piece together a victimology and going back to the beginning seemed like the best place to start. There hadn't been much to go on when they received the case, and it was a particularly brutal one. Four girls in two months, all beaten to death. A sadistic sadist who was escalating, and wouldn't stop killing until he was caught.

"I think I'll sit this one out" replied Reid in a rather nasty tone.

She couldn't blame him. After all that had happened the last time they went on an interview together. He had been abducted and tortured and was still dealing with the repercussions of the ordeal. His personality had been completely different lately, edgy and even mean sometimes. It wasn't like him at all and she felt responsible for it still. They should never have split up. And here they were about to do it again, but if this is what he needs then she was going to give it to him.

JJ climbed out of the car and made her way to the large gate in the tall wooden fence. She had spoken to parents who had lost children countless times before, but it never got any easier. She reviewed the facts in her head and she felt terrible for the poor man who lived here. His wife had died years ago, and his daughter was all he had had left. Now he lived here all alone in this dump. She climbed the stairs carefully as they creaked underneath her and knocked on the door.

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Reid was still in the car, parked outside the house. He glanced up at the top half of the home. He couldn't see JJ anymore from where he was. He squirmed in his seat a bit. He knew he had been mean to her and now he was feeling bad about it. Yea he had been through something awful but it wasn't her fault, he knew that. He just couldn't seem to stop being angry, and the drugs he had been taking to try and forget hadn't improved his attitude any. He was considering how to apologize to JJ and how to stop being this way when he heard it. A scream from the other side of the tall fence. Hi breath caught in his throat. He knew immediately that it was JJ. He jumped out of the car and ran to the gate, pulling out his gun as he entered the yard.

"I wouldn't do that!" yelled a voice.

Reid stopped short midway to the house and saw Carl Anders holding a knife to JJ's throat on the porch. He swallowed hard as he stared at JJ.

"Put it down. NOW!" screamed Carl.

Reid held the gun out to his side and raised his hands.

"Ok man… just take it easy"

He bent over and placed his gun on the grass. Carl forced JJ forward towards Reid. He grabbed the gun and then shoved her over next to Reid. As she slid from his grip she could feel the knife slide lightly against her skin.

Reid reached out and caught her as she tripped forward with Carl's hard shove. As he caught her and steadied her on her feet he immediately noticed the small trickle of blood on her neck. He tilted her head upwards to take a closer look.

"I think it's alright. It doesn't look like it hit any major…" Reid was talking very quickly.

"Reid, I'm fine" JJ cut him off pulling her head away to look at him.

Pointing the gun at them Carl ordered them to the barn behind the house. Inside it was dank and musty. There were several old farm tools that looked like they hadn't been used in some time. JJ and Reid stood together, looking at each other nervously. Carl grabbed a couple of chairs and set them in the middle of the floor. He grabbed JJ by the arm and threw her into one of the chairs. Reid moved to help her.

"Don't move" snarled Carl pointing the gun at JJ.

He grabbed some rope from the barn wall and threw it at Reid. Still pointing the gun at JJ he ordered Reid to tie her hands. Reid moved to place himself between JJ and the gun, but Carl ordered him to tie them behind her back. With a quick apologetic glance at JJ he moved behind her and began tying her hands as loosely as he could, until Carl told him that if it wasn't done tightly he would kill them both. Reid tightened the ropes and as he slipped the rope around one more loop his slid his hand down to her and grabbed it. She squeezed his hand to tell him it was alright and then Reid stood again.

"Now her legs" cried Carl.

He threw more rope at Reid and he knelt to tie each of her ankles to the chair legs. This time he couldn't bring himself to look her in the face. This was all HIS fault. He should NEVER have made her go in their alone. This never would have happened if he hadn't been so awful.

When he had finished Carl shoved him into the other chair facing JJ, and tied him up himself. Both Reid and JJ were staring at Carl waiting to see what was going to happen.

"You are a liar!" Carl screamed at JJ.

"No! I didn't lie to you" exclaimed JJ.

"Yes you did! Do you think I'm that stupid?! You said you were here for an interview, but I know you were here to arrest me, but you stupid girl thought you could do it all by yourself" Carl finished with a smirk.

Reid took those last words like a blow to the stomach. She shouldn't have been at that door all alone, Carl was right.

"No! Really we were just here to talk to you about your daughter…" started JJ.

"Shut Up!" screamed Carl, and landed a heavy smack across her face.

"NO!" screamed Reid

Carl landed another blow to JJ's face and Reid fought to get out of his chair.

"Stop it! Leave her alone!!!" Reid was screaming at him.

"Stop it?" asked Carl in a suddenly calm voice.

"Do you think its time to stop already?" he asked JJ.

JJ just stared at him. Such a sudden change in attitude, he was so calm now, this couldn't be good. His sadistic nature was coming out. Carl made his way over to a drawer in a desk in the corner of the barn and pulled out an old revolver. They both saw a gun at the same time and looked at each other and then back at Carl. He walked back over to where they were sitting and opened the cylinder. He emptied all of the chambers onto the floor, then picked up one bullet and reloaded it into the weapon.

"Lets see if fate thinks its time to stop" said Carl.

He slapped the cylinder shut and spun it around. Then he aimed it right at JJ. Reid couldn't breathe and JJ's eyes widened.

CLICK

It was so loud. The sound of that trigger being pulled. But it was just a click, no bang… no bullet. JJ let out a long breath and Reid closed his eyes. A tear fell from the corner of Reid's eyes and he couldn't wipe it away.

'Thank God!' Reid thought silently.

Reid looked up at JJ with concern in his face. She looked so scared.

"Guess its not time to stop, then" said Carl as he approached JJ again.

"But you can decide when it stops honey" he said to her, "all you have to do is tell me when you've had enough and I'll move onto your friend here."

JJ looked up at Reid and he stared back at her.

"So? What will it be? Have you had enough yet?" Carl asked JJ laughing.

JJ stared Reid right in the face as she answered him "No."

She wasn't about to let him be hurt because of her again. She knew it was her mistake in the first place that had gotten Reid so messed up in the first place and so it was her fault for the position they were in now. She deserved this, he didn't.

Reid's heart and face sank at the sound of that word. Carl became angry again and began to beat JJ. He hit her so hard that finally the chair fell over with her still in it. Reid struggled so hard against the ropes tying his hands that he could feel his own blood starting to drip down his hands, but he didn't care.

"STOP, STOP PLEASE!" Reid kept screaming, trying desperately to do anything… ANYTHING to stop it.

Reids face was covered in tears now as he watched helplessly as Carl began to kick JJ. She finally passed out and lay still on the floor.

"please" Reid whispered meekly as he hung his head and sobbed.

"Maybe now she's had enough" Carl growled as he picked up the chair with JJ in it and slammed it back upright on the floor.

JJ's head hung unconscious. Reid checked to be sure she was still breathing and sighed in relief when he saw her chest rising and falling steadily. At least she was still alive. Carl grabbed the revolver off the floor from where he had dropped it earlier and headed for the door. They were alone now. At least for the moment she was safe.


	2. Chapter 2

They has been sitting there for a while now. Hours, it felt like to Reid, as he watched JJ hanging in the chair across from him.

"JJ please wake up, please" he kept saying to her over and over, "please look at me JJ."

Finally she began to stir. A low, painful groan alerted Reid to her consciousness.

"JJ!" he cried "JJ, look at me. Are you alright?"

Her head was swimming, everything looked and sounded fuzzy, like in a dream. She blinked her eyes a few times to try and focus them. Where was she? What was happening? She tried to think but her head was hurting so bad. She shook her head and looked up. There was Reid. He was tied to a chair. Something was wrong, something bad was happening. She had to focus. She squeezed her eyes shut and could hear Reid begging her to look at him, but she had to get her head clear first.

The barn. Carl Anders. It was coming back now. He wasn't just a parent who had lost his child. He was a parent who had killed his child… and other peoples children. He was a monster, and that's what they were doing here. She opened her eyes again. She remembered everything now. She looked at Reid. His face was covered with tear stains, he had been crying, for her.

"Its ok" said JJ weakly, "I'm alright."

Reid let out a sigh of relief and the pain in his face relaxed a little, but he still couldn't stop staring at her. Her face was badly swollen and bloody, she looked terrible. She needed a doctor.

JJ gave him a forced smile and began to look around the barn.

"Where's Anders?" she asked

"He left a while ago after you passed out. I don't know where he went" Reid explained.

"JJ, look at me"

JJ brought her attention back to Reid. His tone sounded urgent and his face was very serious.

"JJ when he comes back I want you to tell him you have had enough. Do you understand me? You tell him!"

"Reid. No." she knew what he meant. He wanted her let Carl hurt him instead of her anymore.

"I'm serious JJ. I mean it. I can take it. You've taken too much already. I can take it" Reid was begging her.

"I'm not going to let someone hurt you again" exclaimed JJ, as a tear fell down her cheek.

"Listen to me JJ. What happened to me with Hankel was NOT your fault. Do you hear me? This is not some punishment for that. Please, don't do this. Please let me help you."

JJ looked away. That is exactly what she had been thinking, and he knew it. This was her punishment for causing him so much pain. She couldn't live with herself if she had to watch her friend suffer again because of her.

"You were unconscious for hours JJ. If you take that kind of beating again you could die! Please don't ask me to sit here and watch you die!" Reid was crying now. Deep down he knew if it came to it that was exactly what she would do. She would die before she let him take it for her.

Just then the door flew open and Reid's face filled with fear. He looked at JJ, but there wasn't fear in her face, there was determination. She was going to do this. She wasn't going to give in, and it tore him apart.

JJ stared at Carl as he made his way back over to them. He smiled at her.

"So honey, you had enough yet? Ready to share the pain with your little friend here?" Carl swung his fist and landed Reid in the face. A cut over his right eye opened and started to bleed.

Reid's eyes met JJ's and he was silently begging her to just say 'yes.'

JJ looked from away from Reid. She looked Carl right in the face and said what Reid had known she would say "No!"

Carl became very angry. This was clearly not the answer he had expected to hear. He grabbed JJ by the throat and started to squeeze. She couldn't breathe. She fought hard to get him off but she couldn't. She grabbed what little breath she could manage until things started to get fuzzy again.

"NO! Let go of her! Let go! Let go!" Reid was hysterically trying to help her, but there was nothing he could really do either.

Reid fought and twisted and writhed in his ropes so hard that one of his legs finally came loose. HE used his only weapon with all of his might. He kicked Carl as hard as he could in the leg and sent him falling to the ground.

JJ felt Carls hands leave her throat. She felt the cool air rushing back into her lungs. She gasped for air as she watched Carl lying on the floor. Reid was kicking him over and over again. Until, Carl pulled himself back up and slammed Reid's face with one hard punch.

"Spence!" JJ cried out.

"So that's how it is then. I think its time you had your turn" Carl snarled at Reid.

For a moment Reid was relieved. At least he had taken the attention away from JJ. She would be ok for now. But the relief only lasted a moment until he saw Carl grab for another bullet off the floor. He shoved it in the gun and made sure it was lined up to fire this time.

Carl raised the gun pointed it towards Reid.

"No!" cried JJ.

"No," said Carl, "I'm not done with HIM yet" as he slowly moved the barrel of the revolver from Reid to JJ.

The realization of what was happening hit him as Reid made eye contact with JJ. Her face was full of fear now. But she wasn't looking at Carl, or the gun. She was starring right at him. She looked so scared, and he couldn't help her. He couldn't do anything, why was she looking at him?

As Carl cocked the gun Reid looked away and shut his eyes tight. He didn't want to see this. He couldn't. He held his breath and waited.

BANG!!!!

A tear fell down his face and he fought to not open his eyes again. He didn't want to see the scene in front of him. But finally he couldn't fight it anymore and opened his eyes. There was JJ in the chair across from him. She was still staring at him, but she didn't look scared anymore, she looked relieved. Then he noticed something at his feet. It was Carls large body. He was lying face down in a pool of blood. Shocked Reid looked back up at JJ.

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JJ's eyes were set on Reid. The gun was pointed at her again and this time she knew it was loaded. This was it. At least it was over. She saw the pain and horror on Reid's face and felt bad for him. She wanted to tell him that it was alright, but she couldn't move. She watched as he closed his eyes and turned his face away.

'I hope this doesn't haunt him forever. He already has so much to deal with' was all she could think.

She never took her eyes off his face. Even when she heard the shot ring out. She braced herself and waited for the pain or the end. But it didn't come. Then she moved her eyes away from Reid's face over to the door of the barn.

She gasped when she saw him. Hotch was standing in the doorway, gun drawn. Gideon and Morgan were behind him. They were here. It was over. Everything was alright.

Her eyes moved to the lifeless form on the ground. It was Carl. The gun lying on the floor next to, still cocked. She looked back up at Reid. He was just opening his eyes. He looked at her and then down at Carl, like he didn't yet realize what had happened. Then his head shot back up and he looked at her again.

Their eyes met and she smiled at him. He looked stunned. He turned to see what had happened. By this point Morgan was busy untying Reid's hands, and Hotch had moved behind JJ. Reid's face turned back to JJ and now he was smiling.

The moment his hands were free he reached out for JJ and hugged her.

"It's alright" he said, "everything is ok now."

JJ was untied now as well and Reid was helping her up to her feet. Halfway up her head was suddenly swimming again. Everything was getting fuzzy and dark. Her legs gave out and Reid caught her and fell to the ground holding her. Fear took him again.

"Get an ambulance! She needs an ambulance now!" he screamed.

Morgan ran from the barn to call the paramedics in.

"Hold on JJ. It's alright. The ambulance is on it way. You're going to be fine, just hold on."

Reid sat on the cold floor supporting her body with his chest, with his arms wrapped around her. He could feel that her breathing was getting hard. She was trying so hard again to clear her head, but it wasn't working. Every sound was muffled, except for the loud buzzing in her ears. Her head was getting really heavy and she was starting to get tunnel vision. She couldn't fight it anymore. She just wanted to sleep.

"Open your eyes. JJ! Look at me! Look at me JJ!!!" Reid was talking, "Where is that ambulance?!" He sounded upset. She couldn't figure out why. Everything was alright now. All she had to do now was sleep and she did.

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	3. Chapter 3

Her breathing was getting shallower. Reid moved his hands to touch her face. He touched her hair begging her to wake up, to look at him.

'Please' he thought, 'not now! Not now that it's over. Not now that she's supposed to be safe'

Tears were just building in his eyes as the paramedics rushed in the door followed by Morgan. Reid helped them lift her up onto the gurney and then ran beside them out to the ambulance.

"I'm going with her" Reid shouted back to the rest of the team, as he climbed in the ambulance.

Hotch, Gideon and Morgan jumped in their black SUV and followed behind the screaming ambulance. After arriving at the hospital they found Reid sitting in the ER waiting room. He was sitting on the edge of the seat with his elbows on his knees and his forehead resting in his hands. As they approached he noticed them and sat up.

"They wouldn't let me go in with her" he explained, "they said she needs some tests. They took her an MRI and said they would come and talk to us when they have news."

The rest of the team took seats near Reid and they waited.

"You should get that looked at Reid" Hotch told Reid as he eyed the cuts on his forehead and wrists.

"I will. After I know JJ is alright" he answered.

It was taking forever and Reid couldn't take it anymore. He got up and walked down the hallway. Morgan followed him.

"What happened there man?" Morgan asked.

"She wouldn't let me help her" Reid answered staring at the floor.

"What do you mean?" Morgan tried again.

"He said he would stop hurting her. All she had to do was tell him to stop"

"So why didn't she" asked Morgan trying to understand what his friends had just been through.

"Because she was protecting me. He said he would hurt me instead if she said so… but she wouldn't say it" Reid was trying to explain the best he could still staring at the floor.

"Oh" Morgan finally understood the pain his friend was in. "Of course she wouldn't."

Reid looked up at him.

"Well, would you have said it if he made you that offer?" asked Morgan.

"Of course not" answered Reid.

"Exactly! We are a family here. We take care of each other whenever we can, and she could this time" he tried to explain, "it's not your fault what happened to her. That's just who she is. She's a brave lady, and she did what any of us, including you, would have done."

Reid shook his head and walked further down the hall. Morgan didn't understand. This WAS his fault. If he had just gone to the door with her in the first place none of this ever would have happened. She never would have had to make the selfless choice. But he couldn't explain that to Morgan. He couldn't tell any of them that now. Then they would all know and they would all blame him too.

Morgan took the hint and left Reid alone. He made his way back down the hall to the waiting room. Just as he arrived a doctor pushed opened the door to the ER and entered the waiting room.

"Are you here for Jennifer Jareau?" The doctor asked Hotch.

"Reid!" Morgan called.

Reid looked up and saw the doctor standing with his friends. He rushed down the hall to hear the news. He stood their nervously as the doctor explained the tests they had done, and the results of the tests. Didn't the doctor know that all they cared about was whether or not she was going to be alright? When would he get to that part? He heard the doctor saying concussion and swollen blood vessels in her brain. None of that sounded good.

But then the doctor told them, "She was very lucky. One more blow to the head and she could have died, or if it had taken any longer to get her the hospital there could have been serious brain damage. Luckily, we caught everything in time and besides some serious bruising and a few broken bones she going to be just fine, in time."

Reid covered his face with his hand as the whole group released a collective sigh of relief.

"Who is Spence?" asked the doctor.

Reid looked up surprised by the mention of his name.

"I am" he answered, questioningly.

"She's asking for you" he explained, "I can take you to her room."

Reid followed the doctor down a thin hallway to a curtain. He knew her bed was behind that curtain, he just wasn't sure he was ready to see her. How could he face her after everything he caused.

"You can go in" the doctor said.

"What? Oh right" Reid stammered.

He reached for the curtain and pulled it aside just enough to slip in. She was laying there on the bed and she looked more awful then before. Her face bruised and cut, her arms bandaged, and machines and IVs everywhere. His heart sank looking at her. He slowly reached for her hand and when he took it she opened her eyes and looked at him. And then she smiled.

"Hi" she said rather weakly.

"Hi" he replied with a little laugh, "how are you feeling?"

"Not too bad" she smiled.

"Liar" and he smiled back at her.

She tried to reposition herself in the bed and winced in pain. His face went back to being filled with concern and guilt.

"Spence, grab a chair."

He did what she asked and pulled it up next to her bed. She took his hand and looked him in the face.

"I need you to listen to me Spence. This is not your fault. None of this is your fault. You did everything you could to help me, and you saved my life when he was choking me. I don't want you blaming yourself at all or feeling bad about this. Everything worked out alright. I'm going to be fine Spence."

He was looking her right in the face and trying hard to hold it together.

"I should never have made you go to that door alone. I am so sorry JJ." Reid hung his head. "I have been so angry and wallowing in my own self pity for so long and I've been taking it out on everyone, especially you, even when I already knew you blamed yourself. I am so sorry."

"Lets agree then" JJ said to him, "Hankel wasn't my fault and Anders wasn't your fault. We've both been through a lot together. And we are both ok now. Let's just be glad for that."

Reid looked up at her with appreciation and smiled. She smiled back at him.

"Can I ask you something?" Reid asked.

"Sure" replied JJ "anything."

"Well, its just that when Anders was going to shoot you, he was pointing that gun at you and you weren't looking at him or the gun or closing your eyes, you were looking at me."

"Yea" said JJ,

"Well…. Why?" asked Reid.

"I don't know" answered JJ, "I guess I just didn't want the last thing I saw in my life to be something ugly and scary. I wanted it to be someone I cared about, someone I knew cared about me. You're my best friend Spence."

She smiled at him again and he squeezed her hand as he returned the smile.

Just then there was a knock on the wall outside the curtain.

"Any room in there for a few more to join the party?" came Morgans voice.

"Of course" answer Reid as he squeezed her hand one more time before letting go to pull open the curtain for the others.


End file.
